


Building Forever

by Oaklin



Series: Forever Everything [46]
Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Kayfabe Compliant, M/M, Swearing, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, also Somewhat Healthy Coping Mechanisms, also regular angst, but only just, he didn't ask for this, insecure!Sami, obligatory Kevin Steen warning, panicked!Kevin, poor bby!Steen, sad!Sami, seriously, sleepy!Kevin, stealth angst, stealth romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-19 10:51:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10638339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oaklin/pseuds/Oaklin
Summary: bby!Sami contemplates life.What if what they built just crumbled to the ground?Would he be able to stop it, or would he just stand there and stare?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello hello!
> 
> Well, this is without a doubt, the most depressing fluff I have ever written. How do you even make fluff depressing? Doesn't that kind of miss the whole point of floof? Goddamn. Anyway, yeah. Beware, much moody sadness and rambling internal monologues about things that are out of one's control, followed by sappy, stealth-angsty shmoop.
> 
> Also, we are still just after Wrestlefest. We have not moved on from the aftermath of that yet. I'm not exactly sure why we are still lingering around there, but if I had to guess, I'd say it is because they are still a little traumatized. Kevin definitely is, as demonstrated here ^.^

Sami ignores the angry honking of the person driving just behind him. He can't tell if they are yelling at him through the windshield, but he knows what the furious horn-blaring means. He doesn’t really care, to be honest, but he understands the meaning behind the gesture.

 _Some_ things are easier to understand than others, after all.

-Understatement-

Sami resists the urge to tap the brakes. For some reason, he just wants to pull the car over, rest his head against the steering wheel, and **cry**. The feeling is so intense, for a brief moment he contemplates giving in to the urge just to so he won’t hurt anyone with reckless driving.

He manages to stay on the road, and the feeling is fleeting enough that he supposes that it is fine to carry on. They have to be in the next town over before tomorrow evening, after all, and since they wasted so much time in the last town-

Sami breaths in slowly, shaking off the dark thoughts that the past few days have brought on.

It doesn’t matter.

All that matters is-

Sami glances up, spending far too long gazing into the rear view mirror. He hears the driver behind him give up on pushing him to pick up the pace, the bright red car shooting past him out of the corner of his eye. He barely registers the movement, lost staring at the bulky form taking up the back of the rental.

Kevin’s breaths are coming slow, his face relaxed for once, even if it is just in sleep. He's squished in the backseat, laying across the upholstery.

Sami had fretted about Kevin not wearing a seat belt at first, the two of the bickering as they situated themselves in the car. Sami had tried to talk Kevin into stopping at a motel, but Kevin had just completely ignored him, listing sideways on the backseat until he was a crumpled mess of sweat and exhaustion. Or, at least Sami had thought Kevin was ignoring him. What had actually happened, was Kevin had fallen asleep mid-conversation.

Sami had shut up, briefly considering stopping somewhere anyway. He decided not to though, as he _**really** _ didn’t want to have that fight. At that exact moment, all he really wanted was for Kevin to get some of the sleep he so desperately needed.

Apparently.

Sami finally tears his eyes away from the rear view mirror, focusing on the road once more. He wonders if he should wake Kevin up, ask him what the matter is, and more importantly, why he clearly hasn’t slept in such a long time.

What _happened_?

Are you **okay**?

 ** _Why_ ** won’t you tell me what is wrong?

Sami blows out a long winded sigh, exasperated with both himself and his traveling companion. Mostly because he knows what answers he would get, already, without even having to ask. If Sami were to open his mouth and ask Kevin those inane questions, Kevin would wave him off, tell him that it is nothing, that everything is _fine_ , when it so clearly is **not**.

Of course, that is only **_if_ ** Sami gets an answer at all. What is more likely, is that Kevin will completely ignore him, disregarding Sami’s concern and his feelings on the matter entirely.

-That is fair-

-Our feelings are not more important than his-

Not what I was-

-He doesn't have to tell you anything-

But-

-Maybe it is none of your buissness-

Sami does slam on the brakes then, swerving off the road and screeching to a halt, his fingers wringing the steering wheel as he skids to a stop. He sits there, the heat in the inclosed space almost too much as he fights to draw in calming breaths against the tide of irrational emotions flood him.

Everything Kevin does is my buisiness!

-Childish-

...yeah.

Maybe.

So?

I want-

-I know-

-But _you_ don't get to decide **that** -

“I just want to be a part of his life. Why won’t he let me have **_that_ ** at least?"

-That is not the problem-

“He could at least tell me to _leave_ , **_forever_** , if that is what he **wants** -"

Sami jumps about a foot, his head slamming into the roof of the car, when a hand clamps down on his shoulder. He jerks his head around, eyes going wide and guilt flooding him at the disgruntled, sleepy look his gets from the most precious person in his life.

“What the fuck are you mumbling to yourself about?”

Sami doesn’t have an answer to that.

Not one that he should share at leat.

-Hypocrite-

“Forever,” Sami blurts, the palm resting on his shoulder almost too warm in the hot car.

Sami feel slightly lightheaded, but it is nothing compared to the mystified look on Kevin’s face.

Sami blinks in confusion, watching Kevin's skin go white as a sheet, and then progressively more crimson.

Sami opens his mouth, wondering if he should apologize for what he had thought was a somewhat innocent confession, despite the guilt running through him like wild fire.

Perhaps he should try to explain himself? After all, he can’t really be mad at Kevin for not telling him anything, when he does the exact same thing.

-It is a problem-

“I was sitting here, having some really dark, unhelpful, melodramatic thoughts about-” And oh, this whole communicating thing is hard, “Us, if I’m honest. Stuff has been... tense lately, and I guess I got a little insecure about me and you and- well, forever. **_Our_ ** forever, you know-?”

Sami’s words are cut off as he is pulled unceremoniously out of the drivers seat an into the back. He squeaks, but either he has suddenly developed better reflexes, or he has spent enough time around Kevin to be able to react to his whims accordingly, because Sami reaches over and just barely gets his seat belt undone before he is sliding between the front seats.

It is even hotter here, smashed up against Kevin’s chest, the oven-like heat of the car exacerbated by their own body heat. Sami lets out a ragged breath, immediately wishing he hadn’t as it is hard to draw in another breath with Kevin squeezing the life from his body.

It is uncomfortable, the two of the crushed together like this, in the way-too-warm car. Sami winces, pulling his legs closer, trying to get comfortable despite being bent at an awkward angle. Kevin’s embrace is far too rough, as always. Sami can feel thick fingers digging into the muscles at the small of his back, the sensation sending sharp, nervous twitches up his back.

Sami should probably tell Kevin to ease up a little.

Kevin is crushing Sami’s slighter frame against his own, his arms like a vice. Sami can’t take in anything more than shallow breaths, the hot air in the car not making it any easier to breath. His ribs ache, as does his lower back, where he can feel blunt nails sinking sharply into his skin. Kevin reaches up, wrapping a forearm around Sami’s throat, pulling way to sharply. Kevin’s back makes a unnecessarily loud noise as he slams backward in the seat, yanking Sami with him and pressing them together like he means to mold them into one, right here in the back of the rental on this abandoned stretch of highway.

It **hurts** more than Sami can really articulate, what with the whole lack of air thing.

It also **_hurts_ ** for a whole lot of **different** reasons, that are increasingly becoming harder to _ignore_ , the longer they stay locked together like this.

Sami isn’t how they got to this point.

He is also not sure if they should **_continue_** to stay like this.

Unfortunately, he _really_ , **really** doesn’t want to open his mouth and voice any of those concerns.

Because Sami really could...

Hot water trails slowly down Sami’s cheeks, and he can’t call up any strength to wipe it away. He does manage to get his arms up to clutch desperately at the bits of Kevin that he can reach from his extremely awkward position.

"I could stay like this **_forever,_** " Sami chokes out, wondering when this whole honesty thing gets easier.

Because this **_hurts_**.

Kevin makes a low, wounded sound in the back of his throat.

Sami sniffs, glancing up as best he can, straining his neck against Kevin‘s iron grip in an effort to get a look at his most precious person‘s face. Kevin just grips him tighter, like he doesn't want to be seen or something, and Sami digs his fingers into Kevin‘s sides, a deep sense of foreboding welling, though it is muted by the fuzzy sense of rightness coursing through him.

“ _Don’t_ ,” Kevin rasps, his voice muffled by Sami’s t-shirt, though Sami can still hear the rough edge and the shattered rawness to the simple word.

Which, much to Sami’s impending horror, comes out pleading.

Quavering voice, desperate breath at the end -that is more of a sob than an inhale- and all.

Kevin just asked- no, _begged_ \- **Sami** for something.

-Shit-

“ _ **Please**_."

The second plea makes Sami jerk up, completely and abruptly bringing him out of the muzzy lull he had fallen into, wrenching himself backwards at the wispy fragility in Kevin’s tone. He doesn’t get far of course, because Kevin is **_Kevin_** , and the man wouldn’t know how to be gentle to save his own life. Kevin’s arms are locked in a death grip around Sami, the fingers of one hand latched onto Sami’s back, the other arm clamped around Sami’s throat. Meaning he doesn’t really accomplish anything other than shifting very slightly in the embrace, pressing his back against the immovable object of Kevin’s affection.

“What?! Don’t what? Kevin!”

Kevin doesn’t answer Sami panicked cries. Oddly enough he doesn’t let go either. In fact, he seems to squeeze Sami all the tighter, their sweat damp bodies smashed together in the most uncomfortable ways until Sami is sure that he will suffocate here in this car, in Kevin’s arms.

Sami wonders if it should worry him that he would be totally fine going that way.

-Not like _this_ -

-Not when he is so-

“Wait. Okay. I’m sorry?” Sami stutters, utterly baffled at whet he is supposed to be doing. Normally, a hug makes one feel _better_ , not **worse**.

But Kevin clearly is very distressed.

But if it was the hug in general, or Sami in particular, then wouldn’t Kevin **let go of him** and not hold him **_closer_**...?

(...?!)

Sami takes his hands away from Kevin’s sides, holding them up in the air and stalling, unsure what to do. However, this does not at all calm Kevin, seemingly making him even more agitated, as he shifts around in his seat and buries his face in Sami’s throat, muttering something so low that Sami hears nothing but the whine in his voice.

-Fuck-

-Is Kevin _crying?_ -

Sami reaches back up, his hands moving before he really even registers the movement, straining forward from his uncomfortable position. He presses forward, probably too fast, and not at all gentle, pulling his legs out from underneath himself until he is straddling Kevin’s lap almost, in an effort to get closer to the ache that he can practically feel radiating out from the best part of his life.

“You _can’t_ just fucking **say that** , **_you bastard_**.”

Kevin voice is still muffled, and there is more muttering after that, but Sami gets the gist. He shifts, breathing heavily at the weighty emotional air, suppressing a deep shudder at the way Kevin’s apparent agony seems to wash over his skin along with the other man’s hot breath.

“I won’t? Whatever I did, I swear I won’t do it anymore?” Sami tries, still unsure of what exactly set this off. Normally, he would not be opposed to physical affection from Kevin, but with his friends **_hurt_ ** so raw and palpable, Sami feels a desperate need to right whatever wrong he committed and figure out the rest later.

Preferably when Kevin is not in this much **_pain_**.

Kevin shoulders begin to shake, and Sami tenses, feeling panic rise in his chest. He calms down a moment later when he realizes that Kevin is laughing, although the laugh is worryingly raspy and there is a distinct hysterical edge to the sound.

“Yeah,” Kevin says, voice gritty and shaky, pulling his head up to stare right through Sami’s soul, “You _will_.”

“You always **do**.”

**Author's Note:**

> Well then. That was melodramatic.
> 
> Poor bby!Sami. And poor bby!Steen. They are definitely showing their age here. Those early twenties, man. They are wild times. Especially when you are as fucking bogged down by baggage as Kevin. I wanted to jump into my own fic and explain what exactly was wrong to Sami, and then hug Kevin. I'd also have slapped Kevin upside his dumbass head, for making things so unnecessarily complicated, but hugs first <3
> 
> Also, this is boring irl stuff, but yay! This next week should be calmer for me! Also, I got my allergy medicine prescription renewed! I can breath again! Although in other, shittier news, the power has been really spotty in my area because of some extreme weather mixed with small town isolation, so don't be surprised if these are late sometimes.
> 
> Hope you liked it and have a good week!


End file.
